⏱️ 8min read
There are some things in life we’re apparently just expected to know.
How to fold a fitted sheet. What all the symbols on the washing machine mean. Whether an avocado has approximately four minutes left before it becomes completely unusable.
And apparently, how to masturbate and use sex toys.
Nobody hands you a manual.
So, welcome to yours.
If you're curious about solo play, thinking about buying your first adult toy, wondering whether you actually need lubricant, or currently staring at a vibrator with more buttons than your television remote, you're in the right place.
Solo pleasure doesn't need to be complicated, athletic or particularly adventurous. It can simply be time spent discovering what feels comfortable, what feels good and what your body prefers.
No performance. No audience. No gold medal for finishing quickly.
Just you.
And possibly a suspiciously enthusiastic rechargeable device.
What Exactly is Solo Play?
Solo play is essentially any form of intimate pleasure you enjoy by yourself.
That might mean masturbation using your hands, experimenting with a vibrator, trying a masturbator, exploring with a dildo or discovering that a toy you originally thought looked mildly terrifying is actually rather brilliant.
It can also be much simpler.
A shower. Privacy. Some lubricant. Taking your time.
The important word here is your.
Your body. Your pace. Your preferences.
One of the genuinely useful things about solo pleasure is that it gives you space to learn what your body responds to without worrying about somebody else's experience at the same time.
And despite what movies might have suggested, there isn't one magical technique everybody secretly knows.
Bodies are annoyingly individual like that.
First Rule of Solo Play: There Are No Gold Stars
If you're beginning to explore masturbation or adult toys, remove one idea immediately:
You don't have to orgasm.
An orgasm can be lovely, obviously. We're certainly not campaigning against them.
But turning solo play into a race towards one can create exactly the sort of pressure you're supposed to be escaping.
Instead, approach it with curiosity.
Does lighter pressure feel better?
Do you prefer vibration?
Something slower?
Something external rather than internal?
More lubricant?
Less intensity?
The objective isn't to perform correctly. It's to work out what you enjoy.
Think less of the final exam, and more extremely enjoyable research project.
Choosing Your First Sex Toy
Walking into the world of sex toys for the first time can feel a little like choosing a new car.
Except some of the cars vibrate.
And one of them has 27 settings.
And suddenly you're wondering whether you've accidentally wandered into NASA.
Relax.
Your first toy doesn't need to be enormous, complicated or capable of connecting to six different apps.
Start Simple
For beginners, smaller and simpler can be fantastic.
A bullet vibrator or compact external vibrator can be a great introduction because it lets you experiment with different areas, pressures and vibration settings without committing to internal play.
External stimulation is also an easy way to discover which sensations you enjoy.
If you're interested in penetration, consider starting with something relatively small, smooth and comfortable rather than immediately choosing the largest toy on the page because you became overly confident at 11:47pm.
Your future self may have questions.
For penis owners, male masturbators and strokers can provide another way to experiment with pressure, texture and sensation during solo play.
And if you're curious about anal or prostate play, choose toys specifically designed for that purpose. Anal toys should have a wide or flared base so they can't travel farther than intended.
Your bottom is many things.
A storage facility is not one of them.
Ready to have a browse? Explore the Lube Lady Solo Play collection for toys designed for different bodies, preferences and levels of experience.
Toy Material Matters
When choosing an adult toy, don't make your decision purely because it's pink and looks cute.
Cute is excellent.
Body-safe is better.
Look for quality, non-porous materials such as silicone, glass, stainless steel and ABS plastic, depending on the toy and its intended use. Always read the individual product information and care instructions before use.
And while we're here: household objects are not automatically sex toys just because they happen to be nearby.
Please leave the vegetables in the fridge.
They have done nothing to deserve this.
Now Let's Talk About Lube
You knew Lube Lady wasn't going to write an entire beginner's guide without getting to this bit.
Lubricants can make solo play more comfortable by reducing friction and helping hands and toys glide more easily.
Natural lubrication can vary enormously from person to person and from one day to another. Hormones, medications, stress and plenty of other everyday factors can influence how naturally lubricated someone feels.
Being aroused also doesn't necessarily mean your body will produce the amount of natural lubrication you want.
So needing or simply wanting lube isn't a sign that anything has gone wrong.
Sometimes your body just appreciates a little assistance.
And sometimes more slip simply feels fabulous.
Water-Based Lube: The Beginner-Friendly All-Rounder
If you have absolutely no idea which lubricant to start with, a water-based lubricant is a particularly easy option.
Water-based lubes are versatile, easy to clean up and compatible with a broad range of adult toys.
A lovely starting point is Wet Stuff Lite 90g Water Based Lubricant.
Wet Stuff Lite has a clear, silky, natural-feeling texture and is a nice uncomplicated option when you're learning what you like and don't necessarily want your first solo adventure to require an instruction manual and protective floor coverings.
Apply some to your body, hands or compatible toy and add more whenever things begin feeling a little too dry or friction starts creeping back in.
There is no award for conserving lubricant.
This is one area where generosity is encouraged.
Silicone Lube: When You Want Serious Slip
If longer-lasting slipperiness is what you're after, meet **[Wet Stuff Touch 235g Silicone Lubricant https://www.lubelady.shop/products/wet-stuff-touch-235g-disk-top-s
Most importantly?
There is no “right” way to enjoy solo pleasure.
It's your body.
You're allowed to read the instruction manual.
And you're also allowed to press buttons until you find something fabulous.
